. boudoir is my home .

I promised that I’d share my own experience within boudoir when the day came, and thought I’d also describe some frequently asked questions within the posting… boudoir is my love and I hope this entry provides an understanding as to why that is…

And so it is…

After nine years of photographing boudoir, it was time for my own. I finally gave myself the gift I feel every woman should experience… the beauty, confidence, and permission to see another side to oneself – the side so often tucked away or cast aside.

My own session was everything I had hoped for and more.

But backing up, I’ll start at the beginning. I’m often asked how my love for boudoir was born…

In 2001, a friend casually asked if I’d take a few sexy bedroom photographs for her boyfriend’s Valentine’s surprise. I nervously agreed and we shot within my home. I was surprised at how much fun I had and loved seeing not only her response, but his. Giddy and red-faced, he thanked me for such a gift.

It was then, after seeing their response, that I began my journey of boudoir.

I was beginning to photograph weddings at the time and offered it to my clients as a groom’s gift. For a few years, that was my ultimate goal- to give husbands-to-be a romantic. Sensual way to see their loves through photographs for their eyes only.

Letters began to arrive from brides, but more unexpectedly, from grooms. They thanked me for such a gift, but a chord was struck as many went further. They described that their appreciation went further; thanking me for the resounding confidence and sensuality they saw in their wives afterwards. The notes began to make me realize these sessions were more than pretty; they were a catalyst for some, to what came next- both within their relationships and in themselves.

Women began entering my loft as a means to elevating esteem, body confidence, and of celebrating their own skin. Over the years, women have walked through my doors to celebrate so many of life’s events. I’ve photographed cancer survivors, milestone birthdays from 18-50+, for soldiers overseas, job promotions, rape + abuse survivors, seeking to overcome body dysmorphic disorder, pre + post pregnancies, newly divorced, anniversary + wedding gifts, overcoming illness, meeting weight loss goals… a multitude of reasons. All looking to find the pieces of themselves tucked away; a yearning to reclaim hidden elements.

this is why I photograph boudoir.

I’m honored to share in these beautiful moments, some emotional, all joyous. We’ve cried and laughed together, and for this, boudoir is my home.

However, because I’ve seen and been a part of these moments, I became fearful of giving the gift to myself. I know, I know, I can speak for days about my rock solid belief in boudoir, but it is also why I pushed myself into a ridiculous corner, fearful I wouldn’t feel what I’d seen. Doubting my courage to be in front of the camera rather than behind it, I remained in my comfort zone, ponytail + converse clad. I am the photographer, not the model, and I feared venturing in front. I admit it. I’ve cancelled my own shoot numerous times, with the same reservations as clients would confide. I’m silly, playful, a goofball who wears minimal make up. I thought I might be incapable of calling forth a sexier side. Although I truly feel and believe we all have it and should embrace it, I crouched behind my camera believing in everyone but myself. I was a afraid I’d discover that I was the exception.

I turned 30 this past Spring + knew it was the invisible deadline I’d given myself. I wanted to celebrate the new decade, so this time, I set the appointment in stone. Just as my own sessions, I wanted the full experience; hair and make up applied, a studio built for boudoir, and real film to document my form…

Why I use film is also something I’m asked… My belief in film is firm since I feel it is a naturally beautiful way to showcase curves and a woman’s beauty. Pairing film with natural lighting and posing to accentuate the form is amazingly flattering and has always been my style of photography. Being the images are not retouched or doctored, I believe it evokes a true appreciation and confidence. I want women to let go and see themselves at their best. And while viewing the prints, that women not discount them in any way, thinking they’re only pretty because I’ve altered or created an alternative behind the computer.

We’re saturated with images in the media and in print that have been so manipulated toward an unattainable and damaging ‘perfection’ that it can look like an entirely different person.  I firmly believe this isn’t the way to feeling the beauty of your own skin. For that reason, my goal is to give women a glimpse into how I really see all of us. Uniquely beautiful.

For my own session, I wanted the same. To appreciate myself and to find that inner, neglected counterpart. I often hear about all of the emotions women feel before, during, and after a session and I’m elated to say, I felt them all too.

Meghan Blaylock, one of my long time boudoir make up + hair artists, began…. I walked in nervously excited and as she finished, my excitement turned to awe. I felt incredible. As though I could conquer the world with hairspray + eye shadow alone.

(some iphone hipstamatic shots)

I headed to the boudoir studio (wanting to be photographed in one other than my own, so I too, could feel the escape + excursion outside of work.) Laura Turner has photographed my family + I for years now and has since become one of my closest friends. I trotted up the staircase with five billion bags. Filled with heels, lingerie, corsets, and a new found energy, I felt like a character. An absolute sexpot; and indulged. We sorted through the items and began. I felt on top of the world as I let go and felt it. Her guidance and posing further giving me the chance to feel the power in boudoir.

It was an experience I’ll never forget and as I sit here, I too feel the beauty within. The feeling I’ve believed in for all these years, is now also my own.

Vulnerability and insecurity is brushed aside; and has been replaced with another side to womanhood. After our session, I practically pitched a tent at the photo lab, anxiously awaiting to see the film. Receiving the prints, I was awestruck. To see myself this way was insane. Proof I could be a goofball and sexy. As many of us are, I was so accustomed to mothering, working, and daily life. But looking at these? I saw that she’s in there too.

And so, this is why I photograph and have fallen deeply in love with boudoir.

I am a mother, an artist, am still hard at work, yet I know she’s there.

And for that, I smile.

For all those considering the gift of boudoir, I believe it with every fiber of my being; as both the photographer and the model. Whether it be through myself, Laura, or another, seek it out. We all deserve it.

Celebrate life, love, birthdays, weddings, triumphs… or just another weekday afternoon….

Thank you to Meghan + Laura for making me feel like an absolute rock star.

Thank you to all who’ve allowed me the opportunity to photograph boudoir, it keeps my heart happy. All these years, it’s brought so much love to my life and I look forward to continuing.

Love, love, love,

Danielle

(and as promised, here’s a peek into meghan + laura’s magic…)